No Bride a Borrower
High-interest wedding loans are a terrible idea. Get rid of them.
By JP De Gance
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A wedding used to be the day a man and woman began their life together. Now, too often, it has become a production that stretches across several days of destination venues, open bars, designer dresses, farewell brunches and outfit changes worthy of a red carpet. None of these things are evil. A wedding should be joyful. But something has gone badly wrong when young people either take on debt or delay entering that holy union simply to absorb the costs for an expensive party.
Pew Research Center found that financial readiness is one of the leading reasons many remain unmarried. The median age of first marriage in America is now 30.8 for men and 28.8 for women. In 1975, Census figures placed it near 23 for men and 21 for women. That isn’t a minor change. It’s a reshaping of culture contributing to declines in personal happiness and fertility. Too many couples believe they must first have the right career, enough savings, and a wildly expensive wedding with all the trimmings to justify the decision.
The Knot’s latest Real Weddings Study puts the average American wedding at $34,200. Zola has recently placed the figure at $36,000. For many couples, that’s an impossibility. Even worse, we’ve now normalized borrowing for it. LendingTree found that 67% of newlyweds took on debt to pay for their wedding. Nearly a quarter primarily used credit cards, and 11% used a personal loan. LendingTree lists wedding loan rates that can run as high as 35.99% APR. Bankrate gives the example of a $33,000 wedding loan at 12.65% APR, which would cost $6,828 in interest over three years, $11,697 over five years, and $16,902 over seven.
The marketing of high-interest loans for the sole purpose of paying for a wedding should be banned either via regulation or legislation. Regardless, parents and pastors should discourage such borrowing during marriage preparation. A civilized society shouldn’t encourage couples to start married life by borrowing at punishing rates.
We should love weddings enough to rescue them from excess. We should love marriage enough to stop making young people feel ashamed of simple beginnings. A church wedding followed by a modest reception isn’t a failure. A backyard celebration or reception at a VFW Post with family is a sign of a healthy perspective. Using your savings for a home, children and a stable start isn’t turning your back on romance. A wedding that strips away the trappings and splendor can instead shine the light on what matters most.
We’re setting young couples up to believe they must wait until everything is perfect: the right job, secure finances, a flawless relationship history, the dream venue, the dress, the party, the photographs. But budget-busting weddings create an expectation of a perfect life. On this side of eternity, perfect doesn’t exist. But the great gift of marriage gives a man and woman someone with whom to face life’s imperfections.
That’s what a committed and loving marriage provides. Not an escape from hardship, but a companion in it. Not a flawless beginning, but a faithful partner for the long road ahead.
Mr. De Gance is the founder and president of Communio.